Soul Swapper T-Shirts

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Existential Risk

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"The meaning of life at a glance"

"How?"

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'I traded a motherboard for three DVD's. They were bogus, so I tossed them out the window....'