Soul Barterer Gifts

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

Rum Mage Sale Today

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

"After this I'll just need you to remove the watermark from your soul."

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

',,, You'll give me a lightning-quick crossover dribble and the ability to dunk, and all I owe you is my immortal soul ,,,'

"Sorry. Cash only."

Change and barter machines.

'Cooking utensils - always good for bartering.'

"Please move... I'm begging you! I will give you a carrot the size of my arm, soaked in honey, if you get us home..."

Whatever-U-Got We'll Take It Store.

'If you're wondering where the building is, I sold it. I needed the money to finance my Western elk hunt.'

"Now, follow me. . . You, on the other hand, have tons of hay but need milk. Right? I, on the other hand, have plenty of milk but need hay. . ."

Executive Bonuses street vendor.

'The other reason your soul feels so clean is become someone put too much laundry detergent in the washing machine, again...'

"It's a good thing you brought your car in when you did, my daughter needs braces."

'I'm sorry but we can't trade your soul for a cure for the common cold. We don't have a cure for the common cold either.'

"I think our jobs have been made easier by the social media with so many people baring their souls ... "

"How much for my golf ball?"