Bone Barterer Gifts

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Bone appetit!'

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

"It's non-negotiable."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

Rum Mage Sale Today

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'All fixed Ma'am: You owe me two hay-bales, four sugar cubes and three apples...'

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'Now, how would you like to come up to my place...'

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

"Sorry. Cash only."

Change and barter machines.

'Cooking utensils - always good for bartering.'

"Please move... I'm begging you! I will give you a carrot the size of my arm, soaked in honey, if you get us home..."

Whatever-U-Got We'll Take It Store.

'If you're wondering where the building is, I sold it. I needed the money to finance my Western elk hunt.'

"Now, follow me. . . You, on the other hand, have tons of hay but need milk. Right? I, on the other hand, have plenty of milk but need hay. . ."

Executive Bonuses street vendor.

"It's a good thing you brought your car in when you did, my daughter needs braces."

"He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures."

"How much for my golf ball?"