Building Barterer Gifts

'If you're wondering where the building is, I sold it. I needed the money to finance my Western elk hunt.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

Sixpack to die for.

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

Where Cream Ale comes from

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

Rum Mage Sale Today

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

'All fixed Ma'am: You owe me two hay-bales, four sugar cubes and three apples...'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

"Two beers and Beethoven's Fifth, please."

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

"Sorry. Cash only."

Change and barter machines.

'Cooking utensils - always good for bartering.'

"Please move... I'm begging you! I will give you a carrot the size of my arm, soaked in honey, if you get us home..."

Whatever-U-Got We'll Take It Store.