Mischievous Barterer Gifts

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Children playing in a library

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

"Hey! What's all this white stuff? Let's try the front door."

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

"What have you done with her this time?"

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Next time ask, 'what does this button do?' before you push it.'

"Tree's up!"

'I wouldn't say your son's behavior has improved. It's just different. He stopped passing notes to friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Lawn service conspiracy.

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'

'You'll 'ave a lovely Christmas in ere, son. Just don't go too near the mistletoe.'

'Somebody must be watching us.'

Throwing snails into next door's garden

Brown Water Rafting.

Coin Return 25 cents.

"So, how long have you been old?"

'What did we say about body language?'

"Barter? I don't know. Exactly what do you have in mind?"