Barter Boss Gifts

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

Sixpack to die for.

Where Cream Ale comes from

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

Rum Mage Sale Today

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

"Langsford, will you please stop interjecting quotes from Kahlil Gibran?"

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

"Of course, I expect a ten-per-cent finder's fee."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

'All fixed Ma'am: You owe me two hay-bales, four sugar cubes and three apples...'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

"Two beers and Beethoven's Fifth, please."

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"Let me do all the singing."

"Sorry. Cash only."