Barter Deal Strategist Gifts

"It's a good thing you brought your car in when you did, my daughter needs braces."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

"My bid falls between my two competitors'. By using twigs, my design is more structurally sound than straw, yet more cost-effective than brick."

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

Rum Mage Sale Today

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

Deal-Maker Trump

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

Theresa May

Theresa May tries to renegotiate one last time

"Please no, anything but that! Not a frictionless Irish border!"

Insect Trade Wars: Butterfly flaps its wings in the U.S./Butterfly flaps its wings in China

Theresa May and Brexit

'Blake Construction lost $500,000 on the Fenton Job. Thank God they underbid us by $100.'