Deal Strategist Gifts

"If we increase the price by fifteen per cent we'll be able to give bigger discounts."

-"You pay a small deposit, then nothing for six months." -"Who told you about me?"

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

As a CEO, it's to your advantage when your client is underestimating you...but clearly, you know that.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities