Bonus Barterer Gifts

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Rum Mage Sale Today

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

'All fixed Ma'am: You owe me two hay-bales, four sugar cubes and three apples...'

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

'City bonuses cut by a third.'

"Wilson! Stop bogarting he bonuses and share the wealth!"

"Sorry. Cash only."

"Messing around with out bonuses is outrageous, I've a good mind to bugger off abroad and screw up someone else's economy."

Change and barter machines.

'Cooking utensils - always good for bartering.'

"Please move... I'm begging you! I will give you a carrot the size of my arm, soaked in honey, if you get us home..."

Whatever-U-Got We'll Take It Store.

'If you're wondering where the building is, I sold it. I needed the money to finance my Western elk hunt.'

"Now, follow me. . . You, on the other hand, have tons of hay but need milk. Right? I, on the other hand, have plenty of milk but need hay. . ."

'When people started offering 'Golden Hellos' they didn't realise what a disaster it would be for the business.'

'Ms Button, do some research and find out why my bonus isn't as big as Clydesdale's...'

'Not to worry, Darling, we're only HALF cut!'

"It's a good thing you brought your car in when you did, my daughter needs braces."