Bonus Baron Gifts

'When people started offering 'Golden Hellos' they didn't realise what a disaster it would be for the business.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"How are we on bread?"

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

loan

Hot Towel Web Service

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

"It's non-negotiable."

If they sentence me, I'll simply pay to refurbish the penitentiary. It will be my own little six star hotel!

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'

Sporting World God: And on the seventh day he stitched up the television broadcast rights.

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

Agricultural Businessman.

'City bonuses cut by a third.'

"This one says he's his company's lead-off man."

'Forty beers please, oh, and if a woman called Beau Peep calls, tell her you never saw us.'

(One small step for the Nasdaq…. One giant leap for me!)

'Well £60 million is less than I'm used to. . . but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the bank have?'

"In these times of fiscal austerity, I think it's important that we all stop asking about my year-end bonus."

'You got a big bonus, didn't you?'

Although less physically imposing than his famous uncle, Baron von Munchkinhausen was no less formidable.

Executive Bonuses street vendor.

'Not to worry, Darling, we're only HALF cut!'