Budget Baron Gifts

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

State Budget.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Smart card.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Economy.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

Economist!

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Recession mathematical equation.

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

The Costs Of Doing War.