Broadcast Baron Gifts

Sporting World God: And on the seventh day he stitched up the television broadcast rights.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"How are we on bread?"

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

Lemonade fruit juice water stand and Umbrellas, sump, pumps, raincoats stand.

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

Hot Towel Web Service

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

"They want to see more snow on your hat next time. . . ."

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."