Soul Trader Gifts

'I'm sorry but we can't trade your soul for a cure for the common cold. We don't have a cure for the common cold either.'

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

Blues artis's daily list

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Honestly, Geraldine, you're not like any other penguin I've ever met.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Existential Risk

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"The meaning of life at a glance"

The church of our lady of wall street.

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

'I've been working on my asceticism and self-denial for twenty years now -- could I go down to Las Vegas to test them?'

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.