Faithful Trader Gifts

The church of our lady of wall street.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Monk Prompt

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Spiritual Lives Matter

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Jesus wept

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Men's Prayer Group.

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."