Trusty Trader Gifts

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

The day the stock market went UP.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Likes: $2.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

City Boy.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Why markets crash.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Dow Jones drop

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'