Celebrity Fantasizer Gifts

Al, when you say you want to lower my allowance, do you have a particular figure in mind? Actually, I have Scarlett Johansson's figure in mind, but let's stick to the subject at hand.

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'I'm a star!'

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'Let's rock!'

'Is that you, Take That?'

The Birth of an Air Traffic Controller

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

Dreaming pets.

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Next: I'm STILL a 'D' list celebrity - sack my agent!

'Well, let's work with the assumption that Harry Styles doesn't want to marry you...'

"It's time."

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

School children looking at different careers from magazine covers, each involving celebrity status.

"Good night Arnold, hello George Clooney."

Dreams I have had (of the famous)

"So, if you could date anyone, who would it be?"

'It's our, 'message in a bottle'... It says; 'Return to sender, due to insufficient postage'.'

"Scarlett Johansson"? Look, pal, I'm a wishing star, not a miracle-working star!

"That's like so unfair, Mum, why do I have to do something to be famous? Why can't I just be famous?!"

'If you steal my identity, you'll be stuck with a lot of credit card debt.'

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

Dear Diary, The bad news is that somebody around here jimmied open your lock and read your contents. The good news is that the contents are mainly fictional. The sound in the backyard of picks and shovels and a mad search for buried treasure is music to my ears.

I can't believe I'm waiting on a comic strip legend! Won't you take off that beret and let down your beautiful Prince Valiant hair? Perhaps later, back at my castle, fair damsel! Menu.

Then vs. now

"If I had only bought 800 million shares."

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

'Fair's fair - I'll only be Jennifer Lopez as long as you're Mel Gibson!'

How do you keep from thinking 24/7 about COVID-19?

I'd like to order a scoop of you. Pardon? I've got a thing for strapping hunks who lug coffee and pastries. What's it going to be, lover? Take me, baby. I'll take you to court, freak! The Angelina Jolie fantasy runneth over.

"Last night I dreamed I rode my bike all day!"

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