Secret Identity Lover Pillows

'He's really into comic books.'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Gigolo Diary

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

"Which one of us is me?"

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

Name

Millennial

"I don't think they'll ever find out who 'Housefly Man' is. Now, let's eat."

I Was Married to Banksy.

"Harry! You?"

"Of course I could tell you more about the job...but then I would have to kill you!"

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

'I know I don't seem very interesting, but this is just my secret identity.'

"No, that's not the right Mr. Wayne either...maybe Batman doesn't have a telephone!"