Mismatch Lovers Pillows

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Well this is awkward.'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

Alligator Bars

The Eclectic Chair

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

Dating site - buy a dog.

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a typo."

Classic Film Festival. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told you it wasn't a buddy movie!

Guess what pants I'm wearing on this Zoom call.

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

I love badminton.

The Origin of Laundry Day

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

Ballskeeper

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."