Mismatch Enthusiasts Pillows

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Well this is awkward.'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

The Eclectic Chair

Alligator Bars

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

'Painter'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

The Origin of Laundry Day

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....