Mismatch Humor Lover Pillows

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

Tina's Nail Bar.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

Alligator Bars

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

Google Translate for Marriagese

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

Angry wife and a drunken husband will need medical assistance.

Lateral thinking...thought bubble bypassing wife's head.

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"I left my wife today. Of course it was to pick up her dry cleaning and feminine products but it felt good."

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

'This is a great place to work...They give you a day off every time you get married!'

"For one million dollars, what have I been talking about for the past ten minutes: the upcoming election, my mother, my job, or an article in the Home section about kitchen makeovers?"