Mismatched Comedian Pillows

'How's the eagle coming along?'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

"Mind if I read a little?"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

Whale Pattern Balding

Two friars ringing bells

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

'My mother sent down some chicken soup to see if that will help.'

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, Glenda, but you've been sitting on a golf ball for the last three times."

Can You Dance?

When worlds collide...

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

"You don't want to mess with us, we're corporate cartoonists."

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Classic Film Festival. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told you it wasn't a buddy movie!

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

"Surprising me- that's your life's work."

'You said you wanted to experiment in bed.'

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

'All good things come to an end . . .'

A surprisingly challenging resolution. This year my resolution is to leave well enough alone.

"No Chateau Lafite '62? Guess I'll have a brewskie."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

"Now make her fall in love with the roommate who's going to quit his job to become a DJ."

Middle-aged dreidels

Tina's Nail Bar.

"I call her 'mincing lamb' because the only thing she ever cooks is spaghetti bolognaise..."

'Tunnel of things that Dr Laura opposes'

Beer, Lance? It's noon! Haven't you heard, Gloria? It's not just for breakfast anymore.