Mismatch Admirer Pillows

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Alligator Bars

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Koalas when no one's looking"

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

'Well this is awkward.'

'A penny saved is another thing for you to knock off the dresser.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"I didn't say he was 'house broken' I said he was a 'house breaker'"

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

Closet.

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

Dog with chew toy.

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

Solidarity.

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

'This thing between us two is not going to work...you get the picture?'

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'Ok, who threw that?'

"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"She didn't know what she was saying, Mr Kalish. Please believe me."

'That's right Baby, I'm on the Most-Wanted list of five city pounds...'

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Rebels without causes: Lorem ipsum, T.B.D., Insert slogan here

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."