Mismatch Lover Pillows

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"Son, it's bad enough you goof off all day, but your socks don't match!"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"You had me at alternative milk."

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Well this is awkward.'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

Alligator Bars

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a typo."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

I love badminton.

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

The Origin of Laundry Day

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Guess what pants I'm wearing on this Zoom call.

Classic Film Festival. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told you it wasn't a buddy movie!

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

Ballskeeper