Mismatch Enthusiasts Gifts

'If you two are going to insist on wearing these shirts during each session, I'm afraid I can no longer be your counselor.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Well this is awkward.'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

The Eclectic Chair

Alligator Bars

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'Painter'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a typo."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

The Origin of Laundry Day

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Guess what pants I'm wearing on this Zoom call.

Classic Film Festival. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told you it wasn't a buddy movie!

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....