Mismatch Aficionado Gifts

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'Well this is awkward.'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

The Eclectic Chair

Alligator Bars

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

'Painter'

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

The Origin of Laundry Day

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a typo."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

Classic Film Festival. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told you it wasn't a buddy movie!

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

Guess what pants I'm wearing on this Zoom call.

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

Anyone for tennis?

I smell feet ... Human feet. About six months ago, I was getting my car fixed, and on the wall of the garage, there was a sign that read, "Change worn shocks at 50,000 miles." I mistook "shocks" for socks."