Mindful Gastronomes Gifts

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

The Origins of Everything

The ecumenical dinner party.

Civilized Salmon

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Namasteak"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"House red, sir?"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

Salvador Deli

Produce Fuji Apples. I told you that's not how "fudgey" is spelled.

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

Omelette aux grosses herbes

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

Lunch Broker

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

Food for thought vendor serves think tank employees.

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

Never mix business and pleasure.

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"Hunger is an illusion. I'll have a zenwich."

'I want you to go vegetarian.'

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

Frying sausages by the sea.

"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."

"Yes, fish is healthy, but not really when it's battered, deep-fried and serve with tartare sauce and chips!"