Mindful Gastronomes T-Shirts

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

The Origins of Everything

The ecumenical dinner party.

Civilized Salmon

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"Namasteak"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"House red, sir?"

Salvador Deli

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

Lunch Broker

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

Never mix business and pleasure.

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"Hunger is an illusion. I'll have a zenwich."

'I want you to go vegetarian.'

Frying sausages by the sea.

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

"Yes, fish is healthy, but not really when it's battered, deep-fried and serve with tartare sauce and chips!"

"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."