Eco-conscious Gourmet Gifts

'Eat locally - all roadkill from 8-mile radius'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Civilized Salmon

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Recycling bottle bank.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Stuffing the turkey.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

The Authentic Christmas.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."