Eco-conscious Gourmet Gifts

'Eat locally - all roadkill from 8-mile radius'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Civilized Salmon

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Recycling bottle bank.

Stuffing the turkey.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

The Authentic Christmas.

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'