Eco-conscious Foodies Gifts

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Civilized Salmon

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Recycling bottle bank.

"You had me at alternative milk."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

The Authentic Christmas.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"We're making progress."