Eco-savvy Eater Gifts

McDonald's Wraps Burgers in Grass Paper

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Civilized Salmon

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Recycling bottle bank.

Stuffing the turkey.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Olive Oil

The Authentic Christmas.

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.