Eco-savvy Eater Pillows

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Civilized Salmon

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Stuffing the turkey.

Recycling bottle bank.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

The Authentic Christmas.

Olive Oil

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!