Eco-conscious Food Lover Pillows

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Civilized Salmon

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

The Organic

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Stuffing the turkey.

Recycling bottle bank.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

The Authentic Christmas.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'