Eco-conscious Eaters Pillows

'First they shoot at us, then they try to fly like us, now they want to steal our lunch.'

"Organic food IS quite expensive... Would anyone like another pea?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Civilized Salmon

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Recycling bottle bank.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

"You had me at alternative milk."

Stuffing the turkey.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

The Authentic Christmas.

Olive Oil

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."