Environmentally Conscious Eater Gifts

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Civilized Salmon

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

REPENT! Get back to nature

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Recycling bottle bank.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

The Authentic Christmas.

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Olive Oil

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'