Eco-friendly Food Connoisseur Gifts

Civilized Salmon

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Recycling bottle bank.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

The Authentic Christmas.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"We're making progress."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."