Ethical Gourmet Gifts

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

Is whale best stir-fried or grilled?

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

Stuffing the turkey.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Avocado Timeline

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'