Mindful Eater In Training Gifts

'As your weight-loss counselor, I must advise you to stop thinking of eating as a hobby.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'What are you eating now?'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

"Namasteak"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

GMOs

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Always eat your broccoli."

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"