Mindful Meat-eater Gifts

'Perhaps... If they talked ALL the time and never shut up.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What are you eating now?'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"For the health-conscious, we suggest you chase your own zebra."

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"Always eat your broccoli."

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

'Yeah, I know, but let's face it - we're delicious!'

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'You know that thin person inside of you screaming to get out? I'm afraid stomach acid got him.'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'