Meditative Meat Lover Gifts

Dinner at the Zen Diner.

'Steak Ted?'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Zenemies.

Important Food Groups

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Have you been working out?'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Family Butcher.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

I don

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

*=Hotdog

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'