Spiritual Meat Lover Gifts

'I'm beginning to feel bad about skipping church for a cookout.'

'Steak Ted?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Important Food Groups

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Cow of BEEF

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Namasteak"

Family Butcher.

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

I don

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

*=Hotdog

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."