Mind Muser T-Shirts

"Sometimes it's as if I didn't know the difference between what's real and what's trompe-l'oeil."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Man and brain

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

God's map of the universe

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

Analyst and patient

"Half-full. Those were the days."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"