Mind Muser Gifts

"Sometimes it's as if I didn't know the difference between what's real and what's trompe-l'oeil."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

Man and brain

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

God's map of the universe

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Analyst and patient

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'