Mental Health Muser Gifts

How To Maximise Your Anxiety

Optimistic Paranoia.

"It's hard for me to tell if my father's having been in the delivery room when I was born is a real factor in my over-all sense of well-being."

"And do you feel that you are a pretender?"

I upgraded the voices in my head to commercial-free premium, and now I feel much better!

'I hesitate to call it angst; it's more like angstyishness.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"Half-full. Those were the days."

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'