Management Muser Gifts

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

God's map of the universe

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Devil worried because he feels good

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

Cafe Philosophique

society of cartoonists...

Optimistic Paranoia.

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

"Sometimes it's as if I didn't know the difference between what's real and what's trompe-l'oeil."

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'The lack of money is the root of all evil.'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

"It has unfortunate memory side effects. He never forgets to take the damn things."