Business Mogul Muser Gifts

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

God's map of the universe

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

Devil worried because he feels good

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

society of cartoonists...

'Nostradamus enjoyed singing in the tub'

Optimistic Paranoia.

'I can't believe it. Wagner just must be better than he sounds!'

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

'I keep making the same mistake over and over again, marrying for love.'

"Sometimes it's as if I didn't know the difference between what's real and what's trompe-l'oeil."

"I know I'm going to be disappointed, but I don't know how, so that's the exciting part."

'The lack of money is the root of all evil.'

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"