Mouser's Mentor Gifts

'Yeeesss, goood kitty, Now can we eat'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Of course, a dog's bowl is a good source of food, and yes, the dog will bark at you but it can't stop you from stealing the food..."

'Boss, he followed me home. Can I mentor him?'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

Notice - Salt Kills

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

When moles dream...

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

Mentors make a difference.

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

'I keep making the same mistake over and over again, marrying for love.'

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

'Quarks, neturinos, mesons. All those damn particles you can't see. That's what drove me to drink. But now i can see them!'

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

'No wonder these are bland...they're toys!'

'Heed my words, young Jim- always use a reputable fish pedicurist.'

"I know I'm going to be disappointed, but I don't know how, so that's the exciting part."

Woman's dog has escaped into a mousehole.

"I don't know what went wrong. He used to be just crazy about me."

'I told you that temper of yours would get you into trouble.'

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

There's a lot to be said about marriage, but you covered it all and then some years ago.