Meson Muser Gifts

'Quarks, neturinos, mesons. All those damn particles you can't see. That's what drove me to drink. But now i can see them!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Shoot For The Moon

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

God's map of the universe

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

Covid 19 Variant

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

'Nostradamus enjoyed singing in the tub'

'I can't believe it. Wagner just must be better than he sounds!'

'Bit early for Surrealism, isn't it?'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

Woman's dog has escaped into a mousehole.

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

'Did Snow White know about Prince Charming's previous marriage to Cinderella?'

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

'The lack of money is the root of all evil.'

'Perhaps one of you gentlemen would mind telling me just what it is outside the window that you find so attractive?'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."