Market Muser Gifts

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Stock market update

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"But am I happy? Very."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

society of cartoonists...

Cafe Philosophique

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'

"The steak is here to give its full consent."

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

"Sometimes it's as if I didn't know the difference between what's real and what's trompe-l'oeil."

'The lack of money is the root of all evil.'

The Art Critics

"I wouldn't describe today's market as a bear market or a bull market. It's more like a chicken market."

'What a beautiful landscape!'