Meal Muser Gifts

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Changing Room Decisions

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"But am I happy? Very."

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

society of cartoonists...

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

Cafe Philosophique

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"