Muzzle Muser Gifts

'Oh, he's not mean. He thinks it makes him look macho.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Silence of the Chickens...

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Shoot For The Moon

Changing Room Decisions

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"But am I happy? Very."

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"Can't you ever relax?"

society of cartoonists...

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'